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[情感] My forty years struggle for freedom and justice III

发表于 2/25/2016 15:43:06 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
My forty years struggle for freedom and justice III
By Thomas GT Guo
Chapter III Disaster falling from sky
3.1 The virtue for fortune is constraint, while the righteousness for catastrophe is persistence. Calamity often become the excuse of those weaker in mind to surrender their fate good reason, while cataclysm always turn into a good chance for those stronger in will to struggle their destiny.Many people have a common life which like black water too smooth to boring. Some met lots of difficulties on their way, experienced much troubles. Still more after misfortune one from another, lost their characters, wither their will to fight, eventually obey the fate control go up and down with the river wave, lost their personality. Only those who no matter face whatever thorny, arduous,tough situation, never give up but persistent struggle to the end, might ship the fate- vessel, Over the rapids and dangerous, finally reach the ideal aim.
3.2 Career and love are two pillar for one's life. some success in career but fail in love, while others win the love but do not have glorious career. Few luckiest are those who win the sweet love while success in career. As Hunglia poet Bai Tophi said that: Life is value,love has much more valuable. Either ancient and today, or china and foreign, there are numberless heroes for love, even do not afraid of Fire and boiled water,to fight to death. There are many touch heart and soul's love poems, reflect mankind's desire for sweet love. However, because chasing true affection and love, few not only abandoned by one's lover, but betrayed and put into despair situation. Unfortunately,I become such a seldom victim.
3.3 From characteristics perspective, I am an honest,integrity, self-confident, persistent,resolute, determined man, while easily trust other, also has a little Vanity. My mom always taught me that listening Mao's words, to be a diligent, honesty good boy.When I was a kid our text books essays such "the wolf is coming", "from iron to needle", "Kongrong let young brother to have big pear", and several decade long-distance running training,all have help build up my characteristics.
3.4 From my inner mind, I am a passionate, tough outside, tender inside, full of emotional feeling's man. On the one way, full of emotional feeling, remain every help and grace in deep heart and always trying to find chance return others favor, on the other hand, do not fear of any powerful guy nor scare any authority, only obey the truth. No matter how hard the situation, no matter facing whoever pressure, never lower down my proud head. In essence, I am a idealist, pursuing the truth, compassionate, and love, because I believe the nature of the universal is the love. I never remember hate, nor try to revenge, even if to those who had persecuted or betray me, I always forgive them. My imagin for love is idealism, might be it dooms me have to play the tragedy role in my love life.
从性格上说,我是个诚实、自信、刚毅、坚强的人,同时又很轻信,还有些虚荣。母亲的「听毛主席的话,做个勤劳、诚实的好孩子」的教诲,儿时读的:「狼来 了」、「铁杵磨成针」、「孔融让梨」等课文,以及数十年的长跑训练,对我性格的形成影响极大。从骨子里看,我是个热情奔放,外刚内柔,情感丰富的男子汉。 一方面,多情善感,对他人的点滴关心、帮助、鼓励、支持铭记在心有恩必报;另一方面,不畏强权不唯权势一生唯真理是从,无论环境如何艰难困苦,也不论面对多大的压力,从不低下高傲的头。就本质而言,我则是个理想主义者,追求真、善、爱,因为我认为宇宙的本质正是爱,从不记仇,也从不思报复,即便对迫害过自己的混战也能以宽宏之心原谅之。对爱情的憧憬则是理想化的,这也许注定了我在爱情生活中要扮演悲剧角色。
3.5 To career I always have a struggle spirits which is never give up and fight to the end, thus always can overcome barriers go through and capture fortress. but to chasing love I lacking necessary patient,Dedication,and persistence, too much self-respected and Vanity, caused me met one fail after another. The "mental out of mind" accident, utterly destroy my reputation in front of public, in my former girl-friends eyes, I become four grade disable. Anyway, I always have a strong faith that I am innocent, not only I will stand up again to success in my career, but also can find that heart which can trust me and understand my mind.
3.6 In the early July 1986, through a professional magazine, I make made a friend with a girl in Tangshan, Hebei, and named her Furong, simble a lotus flower from dirty soil with pure quality, for I wish she will like the lotus flower has the elegant quality of her soul. Furong is a eye's surgery doctor with strong sense of responsibility, her physiognomy is very attractive, quite pretty with a pair big shinning eyes full of energy, a small but shape nose, a sexy lip with a rose face. She was twenty-eight years old young girl,full of fire passion, just like a rose ready to burst for her lover. I was 28 year old young trial lawyer, with a strong body, healthy mind, smart brain, and swimmer's figure. At the first glance at her, like electrified the fire in both of us bruning out of control, during four months I sent her more hundred love letter, in order to write funny, interesting,and attractive, and elegant letter, I had read more than 50 Vol love poem!
3.7 Soon both of us fall in love crazily, to read her love letter and wrote love letter to her become my most joyful enjoyment. Taken advantage of dealing cases, I went to see her at Tangshan twice, and lived at her apartment, deeply fall in love, forget who I am and where I am. Both of us feel we met a little to later, waste a lots of invaluable time, otherwise we would have enjoyed our sweetest love more. Just like the dry wood meet fire, inevitably between Furong and me have making love as if the end of the world in coming. So We start to discuss our marriage, I wish she move to Fuzhou for my career as foreign lawyer, only in Fuzhou has promise future. She told me the she will to follow me to the end of sky and the corner of the sea.
3.8 Before marry, I decide to tell her all my history without remain any secret, for I hold a principle of absolute honesty to my lover one. On 10 January 1987 evening, I try my best to explain to her what I have thought about philosophy, jurisprudence, and legal theory, and compare with the principles of natural science, such as mathematics, physical and chemical science, with social science, and analyze to obtain the shocking conclusion which totally different with the official opinion, finally I told her my discovered a formula of mathematics, and asked her to certified its correction. It seems I successfully convincing her that I am a sort of genius, then I told her frankly that because of my independent thought and dissident political thought, I was treated as a"Mental patient" by the party secretary in the university. She told me that she complete understood me and said I was a genius, which move me almost to tears, for I thought finally I found my sweetheart.
3.9 However,two months later, the situation turn to sour, at beginning, she love letters become fewer, then on 10 May 1987, she sent me a letter asked for broken our relationship, which I disagree; because trusted her completely, I replied her with a long letter, point out that we could not able to resolve the problem to live together, the main reason is that the human resource system is backforward, and so called" people's democratic dictatorship", in essence is that fake democracy, real dictatorship. in the letter I told her that I was born to be somebody to do great cause, with a purpose to convincing her to believe I am well deserved her love, and will not made her disappointment, did my last effort to maintain the losing love, but she sent me the last letter announce that if I disagree with her, she would not wrote me forever, which made me no choose but accept her unreasonable demand friendly to finish our love relationship.
3.10 The Pain of lost love did not feel good, I understood the root is that made me humiliating accident of "mental patient ", at meantime, I learn that Amoi University turn me down, the excuse is that I did not have a master of law degree neither I had Intermediate title. That led me decide retake entry exams for my Master of law degree, and I success pass the exams for LLM of International Maritime law, my tutor is Professor Zhu Zengjie, a prominent scholar as well a practitioner in admiralty and shipping. I thought I can realise my dream of being a scholar now, however, I never expect that an even big Political Storm, push me from my career summit into a deep abyss which disappoint me so much that I hardly could bear again!
3.11 Ms.Furong is an extremely ambitious woman. While she was in love with me, she keep a close relationship with a Beijing University PhD student; when I told her frankly that I had that psychosis history, even did not finish our relationship,she was in love with that boy, while she also preparing her entry exams for her master degree, but she failed, at meantime that PhD fall in love with another girl and abandoned her. Ms.Furong Suddenly encountered a double whammy career and love, in Chinese called "Jifeidanda", means that chicken fly away, while all eggs broken; caused damaged to her Mental by stimulation severely and therefore at a loss, she thought what I told her honestly about my "psychosis" history is simply make up story, with the purpose to abandoned her.
3.12 Inciting by her sister and brother in law, Ms.Furong shift her own unfortunately responsibility to me, she was so angry that lost her mind, to Launch a shocking false charging, began to sue me play her feeling to my law firm, due to My new boss Mr. Tang Chenzhu's encouraged, she quickly escalated the charge into alleged rogue rape! at meantime, she sent out her Charged materials to the Judicial Ministry of China, the Judicial Bureau of Fujian, the Public Security ministry of China, and Amoy University, called for the prosecution of my criminal responsibility (1).
3.13 All such horrible charging until the director of the monitor talked to me I know nothing what has happened to her. I frankly told the director that I did have a sincerely relationship with Mr. Furong, it is not I play her feeling, but she abandoned me. I suggested that the Investigation and verification herself may clear truth. Then the Judicial Bureau sent two cadre, including Mr. Lin Jun to Tangshan talk to Ms.Furong personal and show her original documents to prove that all my arguments are absolutely truth. Then,the deputy director of Fujian Provincial Department of Justice Mr. Hong jinbao demand me wrote a write a review several times to criticize myself, which I firmly deny, for I did nothing wrong, then Mr. Hong said "If it is the time of anti-rightist, you must be a rightist". "The ridicule anti-rightist time has passed for good", I reply.
3.14 Soon my new boss Mr. Tang Chenzhu used Fujian Foreign Economic Law Firm's name, suggested to give me a punishment as " Disbarment , administrative warning"! The reason why I should be punished is that in my love letters to Ms.Furong, showed " dissatisfied remarks on the personnel system , the people's democratic dictatorship ",and " write naughty words". The suggestion was Approved by the Department of Justice with red colour document, notice and report to the province's judicial system the Ministry of Justice. In another word, China judicial bureau use my personal love letters as evidence against me, because in China neither have privacy rights nor the rule of law, despite the constitutional law did provided that private letters were protected by law. This is the second time I become the victim of such notorious which damaged my reputation and many people learn my name through the noticement.
3.15 Through three years hard effort, I just recover from that severer mental trauma caused by the [ psychiatric ] storm, but suffered a cold-spine hit again, which sentenced death of my political career.I never expect that the Justice ministry would make such a ridicule illegal penalty. The punishment base on individual emotional dispute and private letter, clearly illegal , unconstitutional , and serious violate my right of freedom of communication , reputation and privacy .
3.16 I know the difficult to appeal just like go to heaven, but I still wrote a appeal statement which base upon the reason and law for strong self-advocacy. Then I close myself to translate, using more than one year spare time translated and published the " Modern bills of lading law and practice" and "The art of Judgement ", two legal works, published 10 papers and case analysis. With the help of a number of friends who understand me, such as Mr. Zhao Xiuguo, Mr. Lin Shunsheng, and Mr. Chen Lida,my law license was restored one year later. In fact, during this year, I had handle a leading foreign case which I am proud and proud lifetime, that is, well-known the China first foreign advanced bills of lading dispute.
3.17 However the disaster is far from over , lingering legacy of keen political movement , party slaves and political hacks are happy to see others suffering. I asked for three consecutive years, to take entry exams for graduate education, all denied by the Director of the department of Justice Mr. Wei, whose daughter studied in USA, but he pretentiously taught me,to work with 'peace of mind' in China can contribute to the country! In 1990, my fourth demand to take the entry exams for my master of law, were permitted, and I passed the exams with excellent score. I must be one of the best candidate, for I had handle hundred various cases, including a number of maritime, admiralty, foreign cases, published more than twenty papers and case analysis and two translated law books.
3.18 However, Shanghai maritime university, Amoy university, and Beijing university all turn me down.Later I learn that Political director Zeng Changchun who enjoy the [ smiling tiger ] reputation, secretly put in my profile that : " this man's thought is reactionary, not fit to do foreign work". My master of law program is International Maritime law, which is educated foreign legal talent! When learn the truth, I am very anger, but the only thing I could do is try to transfer my job to get rid of the Department of justice. So I visited the president of Qunzhou oversea university Mr. Zhuang Shanyu, and the director of Organization Division of the Fujiang social science institute. At very beginning, both of them express their warmly welcomed, however, when they saw my profile, everything changed. Under the party-state, the party like the ghost haunt everywhere, and control every organization. Under such a totalitarian regime, any individual lost their freedom and totally control by the party.
3.19 When the political division to punish me as their pleasure, I win lots of teachers, colleague-lawyers, and friends supporting and encourage. In 1987, I applied my master of law study at Shanghai Maritime university, my instructor is Professor Zhu Zengjie, I wrote and told him my unfortunate fate, He not only did not snub me, but regardless of his advanced age, and busy public affair, taking time carried out a careful revise on my translation of " modern bills of lading law and practice", corrected a number of mis-translation. He often wrote me encourage me to do my best, contribute more to my lawyer career and maritime law study. Professor Zhu's sincerely concerned become my spirit support during my hard time. My friends Lawyer You quanrong, Li weimin, and Lin Huarong also encourage me to go my own way. Especially touching my heart is that Mr. Lin Jun, the investigator of My project investigation team, after know all my cases, he decided to recommend to the principal leaders of the Fuzhou city as the secretary of Mr. Xi Jinping, who was the party secretary that time(3). Because Xi need a secretary who are good at law, master English and excellent in writing. I do not know whether there are anything is more value than such trust. If our human resource cadre, leaders can like Mr. Lin Yun to treat people sincerely with respect and dignity, our cause should enough will be much booming.
3.20 Director of lawyers association, Mr. Lin Shunsheng against all the odds, twice hired me give a lecture on international trade law for "Fujian foreign lawyer Training"; He also engage me to teach the Legal English lawyer's practice for "The first Fujian lawyers visiting Hong Kong study tour class". Director of the Foreign economic law firm Mr. Zhuang Zhongxi, trust me and let me handle the "import 5000 tons Chilean fish-meal quality dispute" and " the custom first failed great administration litigation case". Director Mr. Houli helped me move my profile from Fujian Department of Justice to Fujian economic and trade law firm, which belong a company, while let me went to Vancouver and Montreal to handle a international commercial arbitration case, and resolve the problem smoothly.
3.21 After two investigators visited Mr. Furong and she finally learn all truth, she and her mom come to Fuzhou want to restore our love relationship! However, Mr. Tan Chenzhu told me the situation only three years later, if I learn the truth in time, I should have convinced her withdraw her ridicule charged, then I would not have lost my law license at all, thus, Mr. Tan really did me great harm! Due to Mr. Tan told me the truth frankly, although I never say sorry or apologize for his wrong deed, I still forgive his misdeed. As to the love relationship with Ms. Furong, even let me know in time, such a relationship is impossible to restore, because she even regardless of right and wrong, white and black, launch such a shocking allegations against her lover who done nothing wrong, seriously damage my reputation, caused my career huge irreparable damage.
3.22 Confucius said: "only women and the villain is difficult to keep ," Schopenhauer evaluates women quite low. Love deeper, hate more once the love turn sour. When a lady lost her love, she might wished he death and feel happy. This might be some women's mentality. In my life I always have a number of ladies confidante, they all treat me very well, it is safe to say that it is women treat me best, the only except who betray me and led me to the worst is this I named as "Furong" girl-friend. Despite this, she still has the conscience return to her heart. During my first part of life, I have a number of close male friends, but they betray me one after another, and they never have any sincere repentances or apologize. According to my personal experience, it seems, general speaking, that women are better than men, although they also committed error, when they realise the mistake, they might correct it. And "stinky men" also often make mistakes, even if when they know the blunder, majority of them would rather unrepentant.
3,23 In my last letter to Furong I end with: " I forgive you, I do not hate you, at meantime, I sincerely wish you find you happy love. I did fall in love with you sincerely, even today, this true love did not die out, but I love you the old one, today you have change utterly. In our life we might committed many blunders, big or small, my biggest mistake is trust you too much, and your largest error is that you do not trust me. You evalue me too low, just like a chicken only need a millet, but I give her a diamond; I value you too high, like like treat yellow cotton as the golden. You might regret in the future, because you tread broken a kind, sincere heart. There are numberless handsome lad, more VIPs, but Thomas Guo is the only one! Eagle sometimes fly as lower as a cock, but cock can never fly as high as a eagle. I definitely will, and certainly can achieve my career. The history will proved who is right and who is wrong, the time will judge everything in justice. Good bye my good friend, farewell, my past lover. Again, May the God always bless with you". While I wrote the last letter I was tearing, I supposed that my last letter might not become the shells she use to attacks me again. Experienced various unbearable suffering, I did not sink , on the contrary , I struggle hard again.
In October 1993 published by Lawyers and legality; 15 June 2008 corrected in Vancouver Island.
记得我给芙蓉姑娘最后一封信的结尾是这样的:「我原谅你,也不恨你,同时衷心地祝您获得幸福,我曾真诚地爱过您,即使现在此种爱也未消逝,不过我爱的是过去的您,如今的您已面目全非。人的一生会犯大大小小许多错误,我的最大错误是太信任您,而您的最大错误则是不信任我。您过低地估计了我,正如母鸡需要的不过是一把谷子,而我却喂它一把钻石一样;我则过高地估计了您,正如把黄铜当作黄金一样,您将来一定会后悔,因为您踏碎了人世间一颗善良、真挚的心。世界上英俊少年有的是,达官贵人也有的是,然而郭国汀只有一个!鹰有时飞得比鸡还低,而鸡永远也无法飞得像鹰一样高。我一定会、也一定能成就自己的事业。历史将会证明谁是谁非,时间会对一切作出公正裁判。再见了,昔日的好友,永别了,昔日的恋人,再次为您祝福」当时我是流著泪写这最后一封信的,这大约不会成为她再次攻击我的炮弹吧。 经历了种种令常人难以忍受的磨难,我没有沉沦,相反,又重新开始了拚搏。
(1) Thomas noted on 15 June 2008: Mr. Tan Chenzhu was a underground CCP member, used to be the secretary of Fujian province Party's secretary, he was labeled as a "rightist" in 1957, persecuted by the CCP twenty years, suffered great deal. In 1979 after correct his "rightist" he was authorized as the director of Boyan county law firm in Jiangxi, then transfer to be the director of Fujian foreign economic law firm. He almost know nothing of foreign lawyer's business, but good at persecuting others. Due to his encourage, Ms. Furong raise her complain from "play other's feeling" to " rape" while she under in-normal mind circumstances. Mr. Tan revenge me because I support Mr. Zhao Xiuguo while they are compete for power, plus in dealing with the first foreign advanced bills of lading case, I replace him to Lawyer Li weimin and deputy director Zhao Xiuguo, which made he hate me. Three years later, when Tan and me decide to join the law firm set up by a Taiwan lawyer Mr. Lu Ronghai, the consciousness come back to his mind, that he told me personal that Ms. Furong and her mom had come to Fuzhou try to restore the love relationship, but Tan forbidden them to see me.
(2) According to Lawyer Li weimin, parts of lawyer attend the discuss about the penalty, only Li openly against the punishment, for can not use private letters as evidence to punish lawyer. Other lawyers keep silence, Zhao did not express his opinion.
(3) Thomas noted: of course, Mr. Xi might not choose me as his secretary, for if he choose me, today he might not have the chance to be elected as the fifth Generation princelings.
[1] 南郭2008年6月15日注:谭成祖原系中共地下党员,曾任福建省委书记秘书,1957年被打成右派,受中共政治迫害20年,其间吃尽了苦头;1979年评反后在江西省波阳县律师事务所短暂任职,随即调任福建对外经济律师事务所主任;此人对涉外律师业务几乎一窍不通,但整人手段高明;正是受到他的极力鼓动,芙蓉姑娘才在心智不正常的情况下从控告玩弄他人感情升级为强奸!而谭先生之所以如此整我,原因极可能是在他与赵修果副主任争权时我公开支持赵修果主任,加之我在全国首例预借提单案中将他撤换成李伟民律师与赵修果律师,令其怀恨在心;但三年后谭先生因与我一道拟加盟台湾吕荣海律师在福州设立的海峡两岸律师事务所而良心发现,他亲口告诉我,芙蓉姑娘曾与其母专程来福州找我试图恢复恋爱关系,但谭先生阻止其母女俩见我。
[2] 据李伟民事后告诉我,当时事务所部分律师参加了讨论,唯有李伟民律师公开反对该处分意见,因为不能以私人信件作为处罚律师的依据。其他律师均未表态,赵修果副主任不置可否。
[3] 南郭注:当然习近平不可能选择我任其秘书,因为若真如此,他今日决不可能成为所谓第五代太子党培养对象。

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