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[国学论道] Thomas GT Guo on English comment II

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发表于 2/17/2017 16:49:55 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Thomas GT Guo on English comment II


"I do not understand how do you practice as a "famous big lawyer", look, you are so miserable now!, You even can not protect yourself!" One of my old friends ironically comments recently.


I have never self-boasted as a "famous big lawyer", however, I did quite famous used to be as a maritime lawyer in China. Only when I debate with the CCP spy or fifty-cents, sometimes I called myself "NanGuo Big lawyer", in other situation or in public, I only self-describe myself as " Lawyer Guo". As to I even can not protect my own family and myself and become one of the poorest lawyer in the world for years, the main reason is my lacking true capacity and My poor English language skill, the other factors are the CCP regime have done their best to disturb my career, plus some narrow mind so -called democratic fighters such as Mr. Liu Xiaobo have played a dirty role.


While strong enough with a unique will and extremely strong body, I become so weaker to control my tears fall down from my eyes, whenever I learn the news of China during these forced exile ten years in Canada. I am a genuine Chinese gentleman, just as Professor Gu Hongming put it eighty years ago, You guys do not understand the genuine Chinese who are deep in thinking, grand soul, quite in mind...I believe I am the genuine Chinese gentleman described by Professor Gu.


2014 is one of my darkest years in my life. I have been suffering depress and frustration for a year during this period of time, I almost could not able to focus my mind on the study, as the result, I have to deferral five papers! In fact, such painful inner mind experience is the first time appear in my life. I used to quite a confidence and always believe that I am a born somebody and definitely will contribute a great deal for my country and my people;  however, after ten years extremely hard working, neither have any job and almost have no income, in front of me still are dark without any light. It seems all around the world close its door for me. Although I have been living in this beautiful sea short island for ten years, I have few friend and none close or intimate friend nearby.


Every day I ask myself many questions such as Am I lost in somewhere? where is my future? Am I choose the wrong way? Do I have any hope go on fighting like this way? Should I continue my studying? May I give up to read my degree or should I finish my school? Where is my home? Who is my soul-mate and where is she? Can I survive if I go on fighting to the end? Should I go on read my Ph.D.? How can I handle so many books and move to Vancouver or any other city?Should I become a Christian or simply a scholar or a politician or a teacher or a writer? Is it my mission to end the CCP regime to establish a rule of law and constitutional government of China? How can I fulfill my duty under such poor condition? Do I have any capacity to survive in Canada or anywhere? Why I always become the victim of deceiving ? Should I trust other people? Do I have any future here or anywhere?  What shall I do next? Do I achieve something during five years study at uvic? What shall I decide to do after graduate in 2015? I have so many questions in my mind and I start to confuse in my mind and doubt whether it is the God will let me suffer so much in my life. If there is the God why He does not support me to fight for justice and freedom of China?

In the spring term, I still have two papers and three short essays have to complete before 15 April but now my mind and soul fly away in the universal. Heaven, Dao, and the God give me power, strength, wisdom, and energy. No matter how hard or how difficult I have to meet, I will never give up and will fight to the end with all my heart. I firmly believe that my mission is to end the evilest criminal regime of the CCP, I am born somebody for China. Because I am the genuine gentleman.
March 30, 2015 at Victoria




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